


Love lost

by JustPlainAmy



Category: Merlin - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Magical Pregnancy, Merlin and Arthur are Married at this point, angst like woah, but a dash of hope to keep you alive, canon AU, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-05-30
Packaged: 2017-12-06 06:44:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustPlainAmy/pseuds/JustPlainAmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was nothing Merlin could do, unable to move a single solitary muscle. Even as Arthur lunged forward driving his sword deeply into her chest and holding it there as she began to scream and attempted to shove him away. The edges of the wound in her chest began to smoke. And the only warning anyone got was when she stopped screaming murderous  threats when determined gray eyes redirected the path of her dagger the very one that had been meant for Merlin buried itself deep in Arthur's stomach</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the unhappy ending

 

                                                                     

 

It had been a wonderful morning, the light was shining, the kingdom was happy and Merlin and Arthur had just spent most of the morning just laying in the King's bed. Merlin was reading aloud a book that the blonde had been adamant about reading even as he dozed off, rubbing Merlin's stomach with small soothing circles as if he was willing the much too young baby inside to answer back with a rub or a kick of his own. That was until nearly all of Merlin's wards had been tripped on the east side of the wall making both men rush to dress for battle. Merlin glaring at the blonde the entire time as if to say "try and stop me" even as Arthur ran to gather the guards and the knights to defend Camelot.

 

It seemed as if time was moving too fast and too slow at the same time, when in actuality things were happening so fast he couldn't, no wouldn't try to understand what was happened just attempting to focus on protecting Arthur. Which he had delegated as his main job while watching the knights out of the corner of his eye.

Weapons clashed, the sound of steel upon steel ringing in all of their ears and the king struck with a force that could only be described as furious. And the made sense in a way, he was angry that these people, this witch and her followers who had felt so wronged by Uther they attacked Camelot, and nearly 3 years after his father’s death. But still there were over a 1000 foot soldiers attacking without warning interrupting the wonderful peace that Arthur had managed to fabricate in the once quiet castle, finally making everyone feel safe and happy and they were no trying to ruin it and that wasn’t going to be tolerated.

 

Everything seemed to have been going fine Merlin nearly taking the unexpected army on by himself with his king by his side along with the knights and a hundreds of the guards and soldiers fighting as hard as they could to protect their beloved city.

 

The battle was nearing a close, with Merlin taking dozens of men out at a time as Arthur shouted order after order. He ducked and weaved through enemies lines, parried blows before returning them with equal vigor. And when nearly half of the opposing army had been incapacitated; the woman who had orchestrated the entire attack finally emerged into the bloody fray of battle. She had dark shimmering lock that would have reached her waist had it not been for the wind that seemed to gather around her, with the terrifying force of a hurricane it whipped her hair back and forth and the white dress she was wearing set the background to make her seem to be the human embodiment of raging and feral storm.

 

She paused only for a moment surveying the battle from outside of a tent of the far side of the field surrounding camelot with a cool face even though the you could practically feel her angry seeping into air. Then it only took a second for her face to turn from cold anger to murderous her head snapping to face directly to the top of the hill where merlin stood eyes ablaze, back to back with the king of camelot. She spared no more time appearing directly in front of Merlin her gray eyes wicked with madness as she quickly used her own magic to paralyze him and hold him in place, he was frozen on the spot even as she drew her dagger and stabbed for his heart screaming with blind rage about traitors.

 

There was nothing Merlin could do, unable to move a single solitary muscle. Even as Arthur lunged forward driving his sword deeply into her chest and holding it there as she began to scream and attempted to shove him away. The edges of the wound in her chest began to smoke. And the only warning anyone got was when she stopped screaming murderous threats when determined gray eyes redirected the path of her dagger the very one that had been meant for Merlin buried itself deep in Arthur's stomach. Arthur fell backwards taking Excalibur with him and the instant the sword left the witch she began to slowly disintegrate along with most of the men that she had created to fight for her, almost all of them dissolving to dust as Arthur fell to his knees mouth open in a silent scream one hand still cradling the dagger that was still embedded in him, while the other held excalibur loosely by his side.

 

The cold and painful hold the witch had held on him released seconds after she disapeared. Merlin, now unbound, rushed forward in time to catch Arthur as he slumped backward, clutching the young king tight as the man’s eyes rolled back in pain. Carefully laying Arthur back him head resting in his lap; Arthur struggled to keep cries of pain behind his clenched teeth as Merlin began to unceremoniously rip off all the kings armour with his bare hands and a few spells aiding the way even as the knights surrounded him in a neat circle their faces pinched with worry as they silently protected their king and their friend from the enemies still attacking them violently, some of the soldiers were even wailing in loss of losing their Lady. But they kept them back never breaking the tight circle.

 

'He had to save him, Arthur couldn't die , he wouldn’t let it happen’

 

Merlin repeated the mantra in his head, as he took in the sight of the black tinted blood pouring out of Arthur's wound. It was clear the dagger had been coated with some sort of poison as the veins crawling up his stomach turned black and sickly even as Merlin eyes burned gold pulling out the dagger working furiously to close the wound and pull the poison out all the while stroking Arthur's blood and mud covered hair.

 

“It’s alright Arthur I’ll have you fixed up in a second”

 

But even Merlin's magic couldn't stop the poison from spreading as fast as it was, let alone remove it, and Merlin knew it and after a minute or two. And Arthur knew it too as his vision started to blur slightly with the pain in his stomach growing,twisting and spreading to his chest and legs. So he used the last of his strength to pull down Merlin into a soft kiss on the lips even though Merlin refused to stop chanting, refused to stop whispering "you're going to be fine you clotpole" and other things like it. He couldn’t seemed to stop him so Arthur did what he was best at, he interrupted Merlin’s semi-level voice diatribe.

 

" I love you... so.. much Merlin you know that?"

 

Merlin seemed shocked by his question his face suspiciously blank as the corners of his mouth twitched down into a tiny grimace before resuming their previously blank state as he nodded his head quickly.

"Good, the ... baby... take care of them... they need you, promise me you won't give up... our baby needs you, promise you won't be an idiot" Arthur tried to smile as any feelings in his legs suspiciously vanished and without checking he knew that he couldn't move them any longer. Merlin's face turned from it's horrifying blankness to such a heartbreaking attempt at a smile that immediately turned to a grimace at his lover calling him something that had become something of a pet name between them. Unable to form the words he needed at the moment, hejust cradled Arthur's head in his hand kissed him quickly needing it to say his....... goodbye.

 

"I... I-, I promise, and I love you so much"

His words were punctuated with Merlin pulling him closer, Arthur's chest was starting to freeze up he could barely make himself speak at this point and that made him that little bit more desperate as he leaned up with Merlin meeting him there. No sound reached them as they kissed even as Gwaine began to sob quietly and the only reason Lancelot was still standing up was because Leon was holding him up even as the large man began to cry, tears clearing tracks down his dirty face as they all continued to smite anyone who dared approach them.

 

In the middle of the kiss Merlin felt rather than saw Arthur as he went slack in his arms on last gasping breath, beautiful clear eyes stared lifelessly up at Merlin the now lifeless hand still cupping Merlin's slightly rounded stomach. Arthur his King, his love, his best friend, his Child’s father... was dead.

It was then that Merlin broke.

An incredibly loud, bone chilling scream of rage seemed to echo throughout the entirety of Camelot as a golden glow crackled around Merlin. It rose and fell like the tide his magic was breaking through the surface of his skin, murderous rage inside his deadened eyes as he stood, managing to pick up Arthur's body with a frightening ease for such a small man.

 

Holding Arthur’s corpse close to his chest walking towards the city gates as he pushed the knights a little more forcefully than he intended out of the way. Tears were pouring down his face but doing nothing to lessen the terror of anyone who witnessed sweet, kind Merlin swiftly kill the entire remaining force.

 

It was an awful sight as each man died nearly simultaneously, each in a way each more painful than the last. Merlin’s magic literally ripping a majority of them apart screaming as he did so, their blood watering the ground. Screaming his rage, his pain at his loss. Walking into the empty streets of Camelot people still hiding in their homes a few emerging at Merlin's chillingly wraith like cries that seemed to shake the very core of a person as he walked to the castle. With people emerging to join in his cries of grief at the loss of their beloved king when they saw who Merlin was carrying. But still no one dared to come close to the wizard, afraid that he might lash out and kill them like he had done to the soldiers outside the city walls.

 

Finally he reached the castle not bothering to speak to anyone he summoned his magic, which seemed to be even more willing than usual carrying them soundlessly to their shared bed chambers finally laying the king onto their bed. He stared down at Arthur for a moment, the messy blonde hair creating an ironic halo behind his head as Merlin could only wipe away the worst of his tears. Only then did he give himself a moment to cast a preservation charm on him before curling up on the bed, sobbing messily like a child into the dead man's chest.

He would Join Arthur one day but first he had to live, live for the Child Arthur had been able to love so desperately as he had for only the two weeks that had been given to them. Yes he would live for them, he would do his best to substitute for Arthur as their son or daughter grew into a proper king or queen, because he would not allow Camelot to suffer because it was yet another thing that Arthur had loved so dearly.

 

(time skip)

 

"Come along Igraine we're going to visit Arthur today" Merlin did his best to hide the slight pain in him as Igraine came bouncing into view her golden curls bobbing around here face, blue eyes that would have matched Arthur's stared up at her Daddy waving a parchment that seemed to be splashed with various colors. When he went to ask after it only to have the little 5 year old hold up her hand to stop Merlin from speaking as if reading his mind... Actually knowing Igraine she probably was, seeing as it was the only aspect of hr magic that she could control as young as she was.

"Daddy, this is for Papa"

she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Merlin should have been used to this. The little princess had insisted at least the last 10 times when they went to see her papa that she always had a present made for him, blissfully oblivious to the fact that every time she does it makes the King of Camelot tear up.

 

So they were off making the rather long walk around the castle to an older restored cathedral that at this point was only occupied by one thing, the glass coffin that still held the perfectly preserved body of the once and future King Arthur Pendragon. Merlin went every day spending at least an hour just talking to his love, hours earlier than when Igraine is up. And sometimes when the guards backs are turned he tries just a little bit to bring his dead lover back, of course it never works but that only pierces the warlock even deeper as he looks upon the serene face through the glass.

 

And now today just like every Saturday he would bring Igraine to see her Papa. He knew it was probably unhealthy for him to allow this but he had never been able to deny the small part of Arthur he had left in the daughter that meant eons more to him than his own life. So he brought her there and seeing her place her "present" for Arthur on the floor beside the coffin as she greets him. This tears viciously at the wound inside him that still feels just as fresh as it did nearly 6 years ago. He felt as if nothing had healed just that he'd gotten better at hiding it from the people around him...From Igraine.

 

She sat on Merlin's lap and babbled happily telling her Papa just what fantastic things had happened in the last week ( in this case her starting her schooling with Gwen and learning her letters). Once she had finished she got up and kissed the part of the glass case that she could reach.

 

"Bye Papa, love you"

 

As Merlin tried to hold back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him, tuning from her only for a moment missing that her eyes flashes a light green before skipping out of the tomb to talk the ear off of one of the guards standing right outside. And only then with Igraine busy he allowed a moment to himself proceeding to remove the glass lid and placing a kiss on Arthur's still, and magically warm forehead before conjuring the lid back in place. With that done he could only readjust his neckerchief as he strode out after the energetic princess. Doing his best to stay calm as he whispered goodbye to the room and heading out the door.

 

Even as bright blue eyes snapped open.


	2. Were-in Arthur is actually in a snow white type fairy tale. Kiss and all.

The first things that registered was the way his vision was slightly warped, was he going blind? That question was answered within a few seconds of blinking furiously bringing the sight of pristine glass inches from his nose. What the hell?

Hopelessly disoriented he tried to lift his arms, sharp aching pain shot through his elbows and into his shoulder; caught off guard he let out a strangled noise of pain only t have the glass bound back it’s muffled echo. He definitely wanted out of this glass box but he figured a minute of trying to warm his muscles up wouldn't hurt him. Flexing and rolling his shoulders h so slowly gave him time to think, how and why exactly he ended up in this damn box being the top priority. When he pushed for the memory for a moment he felt as if he was trapped in a thick fog he slashed and pushed for only a moment when it seemed to realize it was only him before it receded away lifting as the previous day flooded back to him. He could remember everything, Merlin's eyes flashing bright, laying in his arms knowing it was too late… the numbness? He thought he was going to die? But obviously he had survived the blow, so why the bloody hell was he here and not in Gaius’s chambers with Merlin by his side.

Merlin! Oh Merlin, was he all right? The damn fool should have stayed back at the castle he should be resting in his condition... still flinching at the stiffness he felt a small adoring smile creep onto his face as he pictured his son making Merlin's Stomach round...or Daughter. Merlin had been lecturing him about already deciding a gender when their child wasn’t even born. The thought of their child seemed to invigorate his limbs and upped his sense of urgency. He had to find Merlin.

And maybe then Merlin could help to explain why the hell he was in a box... In his armor and crown? Yes he definitely had to get a move on, because the situation was getting stranger and stranger by the moment. He raised his arms once more and he found less resistance and only winced slightly at the pain as he raised his palms to the glass pushing with all his might and dragging the heavy thing off of him. Then lowering it slowly to the ground succeeding in not dropping it and smashing it into a million pieces.

Swinging his legs over the side he managed to stand on wobbly legs, Attempting to get the blood flowing into them also as he felt the painful static of a sleeping limn rush through him. The pinpricks seemed to surge throughout him making him greet his teeth and clench his hands. They were everywhere…. Except? Yanking his shirt and chainmail up he stared down at his stomach. Disbelief washed through him as he gazed upon a single, neat looking white scar where he had felt The Witch's dagger enter him.

Yanking off a glove he reached down starting to trail a finger over the scar only to yank his hand back as if he had been burned. It. was... Cold, freezing in a way that nothing alive should be... dropping his shirt he did his best to ignore the unease he felt, he’d deal with it later; he had to find Merlin. 

Finally deciding he wasn’t going to die on the spot, he allowed himself to look around. And what he saw two very armed guards at the entrance way to the place he had recognized as the Cathedral he used to play hide and seek in. The dilapidated pews were his and Morgana’s favorite place to hide from the courtiers when they had been young. It hadn’t changed in the least since he last been there.

Making as little noise as possible he quickly ducked out of his armor only letting his sword remain on his hip and his crown to be placed inside the pocket of the cloak that had been placed over him. That done he shrugged it on leaving the hood down as he decided that surely Merlin would be waiting for him in their chambers. He quickly ducked out the back entrance (A small hole in the back room of the church) making his way around the market totally oblivious to the stares he was getting from his people, not even when a few of them shouted towards him, none of it really reaching him as he made his way to the castle to find Merlin.

Slipping in the servants door he made his way through the kitchens vaguely wondering if something was wrong as one of the servants screamed, but for some reason that didn't matter something was driving him to Merlin and he felt like he couldn't have had stopped if he wanted to. Upon reaching the door to his court sorcerer and his rooms he was greeted by two guards who promptly upon seeing his face one of them crossing themselves ask the other whose hand was shaking while gripping his sword, spoke up.

"Who and what are you?" There was still fear in his voice as he stood before them his expression gob smacked, obviously the should have recognized their king, didn't they?

"What do you mean? You know who I am? It’s me, Arthur Pendragon! Your king. What is the meaning of this?" he replied indignant and admittedly confused. They both startled at his words reacting as if they hadn't really expected him to answer. The one closest to Arthur that had crossed himself seemed less frightened by his answer. Though the terror he had shown was now replaced with righteous anger, slowly withdrawing his sword from it's sheath raising it level to the young king’s chest before speaking.

"Do no mock our pain Sorcerer, Our King is six years dead and buried in a box of glass in the old Chapel" His words took a moment to sink in, but when they did it was like an actual physical force, now he was the one shaking. Six years? How could this be? Dead, they had said, but obviously he was... Alive. Still living breathing, his armor seemed solid enough against him. He had only just woken up from a coma or something in that- oh no.

That wasn't a box at all... it was his coffin. Making an attempt to keep his voice steady, even as his face tinted green. Feeling sick he stared at the door behind the men who had now both drawn their swords. He words came out more as shaky exhale rather than the commanding tone her had been hoping for.  
" I need to see Merlin, now" 

The guards took up a fighting stance as he stepped forward, his movement feeling more than a little hysterical and managed to swiftly disarm the guards. Knocking the poor men out and opening the door slowly to see Merlin, his sweet, sweet Merlin sitting on their bed with a tiny blonde girl sitting on his lap. Both of which seemed entranced with whatever book that Merlin was reading aloud from.

But the second he stepped inside Merlin's Head snapped up and it was all he could do not to gasp. He saw horrible dark circles under his Merlin’s eyes; his already pale skin turned an even lighter more to an insipid type pallor. He looked so unhealthy, but worst of all the little twinkle of happiness. The one that never failed to sparkle in his eyes was gone... And that made the already shaken Arthur feel like crying.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting after his rather horrible entrance, but he wasn't expecting when Merlin quickly grabbed the little girl and placed her beside the bed. Then moving to stand protectively in between Arthur who had yet to move from the doorway and the little girl who looked frustrated at not being able to see Arthur around Merlin. And Merlin, Oh dear gods, his eyes glowed gold with a fury he had never seen directed towards him. Only then did he truly realize why their enemies usually turned tail and ran after seeing Merlin in battle, and was it terrifying.

"Who are you?” Merlin near shouted, continuing only without pause  
“How dare you show yourself in a form like that.I command you leave this place at once" 

Merlin's voice was powerful, it rattled the windows as his magic seemed to swirl visibly around him, ebony hair lifting slightly in a non existent breeze. Apparently Merlin had come to the same conclusion as the guards... this was not good at all.

"Merlin It's me, it's Arthur, What is this rubbish about me being dead? It's a joke, it has to be a joke even though I’m not laughing. Right?" The his voice grew weak as he gazed upon the face of his lover which was burning with hatred and shock as Arthur slowly sank to the floor against the door. He was so very tired. He rested his on his knees since they were much too wobbly to keep him standing much longer.

"Papa!" a sweet little voice proclaimed making Merlin wince, and Merlin was not quick enough to stop the little blonde girl from bounding over the bed and attaching herself securely to Arthur's neck with fragile little arms. She had managed to surprise Arthur, though not enough for him not to hug back understanding in a moment just who she was…. Merlin looked frozen on the spot and only when Arthur looked up did he break out of a trance moving forward like he was going to snatch the little girl that was currently snuggling into his neck.

As their eyes met Arthur did his best to put on a very uncharacteristically self-depreciating smile. It came out shaky at best, tears brimming over onto his eyelashes.  
"I guess I was wrong about her being a boy? Probably should have listened to you more, what did you say?” Arthur only just managed to restrain the sob that was building in his chest, as his body nearly begged him to set it free. “ Wasn’t it something about me being an idiot for already trying to name them after our fathers before you even managed to start showing?" He could see it. The heavy anger that had been hovering around Merlin dropped from the man as a tiny whimper tore it's way up the now incredibly fragile looking man's throat. Merlin had obviously recognized the words.

Arthur just buried his face in the blonde curls of his daughter, looking into her eyes as she lifted her head seeing what looked like his own stare back at him as she happily gave him a smacking kiss on the lips as guards burst into the room ignoring Arthur and shouting that the king’s body was missing, only to turn tail and essentially run when Arthur stood with his little girl on his hip giving them a slightly shark toothed smile. Proceeding to inform and them that he wasn't missing at all, in fact he was right here.

As soon as they had left he walked cautiously to his love putting down his daughter as he wrapped his arms around Merlin's pale form. A a little smile curved his mouth when he felt little arms wrap around one of his legs.

After what seemed like forever Merlin seemed to thaw out, guilt shining in his eyes as he stared at Arthur and then down to their daughter speaking quietly so quiet that even he could barely hear the words whispered brokenly into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't save you" These words were interrupted by yet another hiccuping sob making Arthur just tighten his hold on the warlock as he continued.  
"... Instead of naming her after our fathers like you wanted I figured I do the next best thing... Arthur... meet Igraine, Igraine Hunith Pendragon. It's been so hard without you Arthur. We've both missed you so much" The entire thing only interrupted as Merlin struggled to pull himself together as he clutched Arthur's red cloak as if he was a drowning man and Arthur was the rock keeping his head above the rapids.

He couldn't bare to see Merlin like this, so he simply lifted Merlin's chin with a finger and kissed him softly. Much like he had been wanting to since had woken up in that trice be damned coffin. He was there now and that was what mattered he'd catch up as much as he could and as much it pained him to know he hadn't been there for his daughter he knew that he had know to make up for that for failing the two of them. And honestly who was he to question how he was back at all?

It would probably annoy him later but right now he was content to kiss Merlin's tears away and never relinquish the grip he had on little Igraine's hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I would just like to apologize for keeping you guys waiting. I honestly thought I had posted this weeks ago. But I hope you still liked the ending. And the fact that Arthur is a very many snow white wit a very unconventional cure :) hope you guys liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> You may find a slightly shittier (A lot I wrote this like three years ago and found it in my folder this morning) on ff.net. but forgive me I can't remember how to get into my account so I can't delete the atrocity of horrible grammar and misspellings. So no I didn't steal it, it really was written by me. so I hope you enjoyed this and I hope to get the second chapter up soon but it may take a few days because it's even worse than this one. toodles lovelies I hope you have a good day and thanks for reading!


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